


(Safe) Sex Sent Me To The Vet

by megaotaku98



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Make sure your pets can't get into your trash kids, MinChan rise bitch, Soonie eats a condom and Minho freaks out about it, rated for the many references to sex and use of the word 'condom'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24209446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megaotaku98/pseuds/megaotaku98
Summary: Soonie likes to try and eat condoms. Which leads to a big scare and an urgent (and embarrassing) visit to the vet.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 26
Kudos: 254





	(Safe) Sex Sent Me To The Vet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello hello!  
> This is a short little thing to let y'all know that I am still alive and working on things- they're just for fic events or they're unfinished outlines for fairly big projects. But this isn't any type of hiatus! Just taking a lot of time to create things. But this was a funny idea I thought of a few months ago which worked for a short little oneshot to keep y'all fed while I'm more or less absent from this site. Hope you enjoy!  
> (Also thanks Julia for the title idea xD)
> 
> Edit: turns out Mnho's cats are all boys so I changed the pronouns xD

Minho loved his cats- truly, he did. They were soft, and cuddly, made for wonderful company.

At the same time, being a cat owner could be very stressful. They knocked things off of tables, they ran rapidly across the rooms, they fought with each other, and they tried to eat things that should not be eaten.

Take Soonie, for example. Minho’s oldest, his precious baby boy.

Soonie liked to try and eat condoms. Used or unused, if there was one laying around, Soonie would try and eat it. Why? Minho wished he knew. Maybe he thought they were some kind of cat treat or something.

Minho- as well as Chan, his boyfriend who lived with him- had to be extra careful to make sure all condoms were either properly thrown away in a trash can, or kept in a drawer. Just throwing a used one in the general vicinity of the trash can wasn’t good enough, Chan often had to get up and walk over to make sure the thing was properly discarded. Minho would have gotten up himself, but, well, more often than not his legs weren’t really working once they were….finished. So Chan had to take up the task, noble hero that he was.

Therefore, when Minho got home from work, and saw Soonie trying to cough something up, and then noticed the knocked over trash can in the bedroom, he very understandably lost his shit.

He scooped Soonie up, put him in his cat carrier, hurriedly fed the other two, sent a frantic text to Chan, and rushed to drive to the emergency veterinarian (breaking a couple speeding laws along the way).

When he arrived, Minho swiftly walked inside and up to the front desk.

“My cat ate something he wasn’t supposed to, is there anyone I can see immediately?”

The receptionist nodded, and handed Minho a clipboard.

“Just sign your name and write down your pet’s name and breed, someone will be with you shortly.”

Minho wrote down the necessary info, and then walked over to sit down in one of the chairs of the waiting room. While he waited, he checked his phone and saw that Chan had texted back, asking which vet Minho had taken Soonie to. Minho texted back the name and address, and right as he sent the message, he heard his name get called. He stood up, holding onto Soonie’s carrier, and walked through the open door.

“Alright, tell me what happened,” the vet said, after taking Minho to an empty exam room, and taking Soonie out of the carrier and laying him on the exam table.

“I got home from work and saw Soonie trying to cough up something. At first I thought it was just just another hairball but then I saw the trash can in my bedroom had been knocked over,” Minho explained.

“And do you have any idea what Soonie may have eaten?”

Crap. Minho was hoping he wouldn’t have to answer that.

“Well um….it was most likely….um...a condom. He- he has a habit of trying to eat them, I don’t know why.”

The vet let out a chuckle. “Used, I’m guessing?”

Minho could feel his face burning with embarrassment.

“Uh...yeah.”

The vet chuckled even more, looking quite amused.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. But we will have to do a surgery to get it out of his stomach. It’s too large an object to just wait for it to be digested. And I hope you and your girlfriend are more careful in the future, and make sure your trash is out of the way,” said the vet.

“Uh, well actually-”

As if the universe was playing a sick joke on Minho, Chan happened to rush in right at that moment, saying “baby I got here as soon as I could, is Soonie alright??”

The vet’s eyes widened slightly, looking back and forth between the two.

“-I’m not dating a woman…” Minho finished, face burning even hotter.

“Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean to assume.”

Minho shook his head. “It’s fine, you had no way of knowing.”

The vet then turned to Chan and told him the same information that Minho had been told.

“Surgery?” Chan asked, looking alarmed.

“It’s a routine procedure, we’ve done it hundreds of times before. This isn’t the first time a cat has eaten a condom, and it certainly won’t be the last,” the vet reassured him.

“Wait, is that what he ate??” Chan exclaimed, looking even more shocked.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, sorry Channie,” Minho said, “I was in such a hurry it slipped my mind.”

“But how did he- I could have _sworn_ I threw it away the other night!”

“The trash can was tipped over, he must have gotten to it that way.”

Chan sighed, and looked at Soonie, who was laying on the examination table and looking mildly uncomfortable.

“You’re lucky you didn’t choke you little troublemaker,” he said to his, scratching behind his ears, “what are we going to do with you...you’re getting too smart for us.”

“Will Soonie need to be kept overnight?” Minho questioned, and the vet nodded.

“He will, for the surgery and to make sure there aren’t any complications or other issues. We’ll give you a call when he’s ready to be picked up.”

“Okay. Thank you, thank you so much,” Minho said, breathing out a sigh. Chan reached over and rubbed his back soothingly.

They bowed and thanked the veterinarian one more time, and then Minho headed out of the office, Chan in tow, who had taken hold of Minho’s hand and was squeezing it lightly.

“We’re gonna have to get a new trash can,” Chan said, “one with a lid. Also we should put it closer to the bed. Then I won’t have to get up as much.”

“That’s a good idea,” Minho answered, “we can go to the store tomorrow and get one.” 

Soonie was completely fine the next morning when Minho picked him up. Just looked rather crabby, with a cone stuck around his neck so he wouldn't bite at the surgical scar. Minho and Chan bought a small trash can with a retractable lid, that they were able to fit under the bedside table. Soonie had no more incidents of eating condoms.

Not that he didn’t try, though. Getting more and more clever with each attempt.

CRASH!

“Mm….Minho can you go see what that was?”

“Yeah, hold on lemme get the light- goddammit Soonie not again!”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and a kudos if you liked it!  
> and follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/goldenjung9497)  
> 


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